24/04/09
Is it so bad to want something so much that all other things in your life end up having not as much meaning. I kind of feel guilty about it, but should I? All I can think about now is getting back or at least saving money to get back to London. I left there kind of thinking or hoping I would be back as soon as I could, but after being back in South Africa I slowly started to realise it wasn't easy any more and I was going to have to work hard to get back. They stopped working holiday visas for South Africans. Which was my ticket back in. So now I have to find other ways, other visas or anything really to get what I want. But no matter what, I need money to do it. I came back with no money, I feel embarrassed as one of my missions was not only to travel but to save some money :(. But deep down I don't really feel bad about it cos it was worth having a good two years there than sitting at home not doing anything and hating it.
Thinking now how sad I was about leaving. Not only about leaving London, but leaving my friends who were like my family over there. Lau being my best friend was I think the most heart breaking to say goodbye to. We became such close friends and I miss her everyday more than you know. Don't get me wrong I miss all my friends. But Lau is my "sister". I remember at the airport saying bye to her crushed me. Every one must have thought we were blubbering idiots ...bawling our eyes out :)and when I left (after like half an hour of hugging :) I looked back tears still filled my eyes and something inside me knew....something deep down knew it would be a while before I saw her, my friends and London again.(but I also knew that I would, def see her and my other friends again no matter what it just might take sometime)
Anyway...thank god for facebook right?... :) I still get to keep in touch and get to see what I'm missing...not good at times I might add.... but I still feel connected to everyone at least.
I think the only thing that upsets me as well as makes me happy, is seeing the photos. I used to be there so that makes me sad that I'm not in the photos (memories) anymore.........
It's been said that the saddest thing a man/woman will ever face is what might have been. But what if the person is faced with what was, or what may never be or what can no longer be. Choosing the right path is never easy. It's a decision we make with only our hearts to guide us. I feel I belong back there....even if it's only at this point in my life.
Wednesday was voting day in South Africa, lucky for me i was off of work...so nice. didnt do much at home(didnt vote either i might add, didnt register so i couldnt vote.... bad of me i know)anyway i wonder how this country will turn out...even though my family is here i can't see myself settling here for good....it just for the moment...im saving money every month and that will be it for me...at least for a while.
anyway hope you have a good rest of you day
kisses xoxox
Carla
Friday, April 24, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
The start!
I have been trying for the last two years to write about how my life had been over in London and of course I always started but never finished or at least thought about it but never got round to it. But I think I owe it to the people(my friends) that made my time in London the best time of my life. I owe it to them because I believe that they have helped me in many ways even if they don’t know it.
And now this blog will be my journey back to the city i love.
London changed my life in many ways, moving there made me happy, big cities have always been what i love....but not only that... leaving for London was like such an accomplishment. Moving to a different continent was a huge leap for me which i had wanted to do for years.... I can remember it like it was yesterday saying good bye to my mum at the airport (my dad couldnt make it). I remember feeling really nervous but not at all scared. It was almost as if I didn’t believe that I was doing it.
I still feel to this day that London made me grow as a person. I learned many things that seem so small, but to me it made me who I am. I learned to live with and become friends with people from all walks of life. I learned independence. But most of all I learned to be some one that I am proud to be.(among other things)
I also saw many things that made me love to be in this amazing city. I saw my first snow in London at the age of 20 and to me this was the most amazing thing. But I think the thing I loved the most about London was the history, the feeling i had walking down the streets.... I was there on the streets of London where it had all happened hundreds and thousands of years before. That to me was truly spectacular.
All i know now is that i am back in South Africa and dying to get back to London. Im hating being here and i feel very lonely at times, and i feel i have know one here. all my friends are still in London and that makes me sad. the times i had there were the best in my life. my friends became like my family. and i truely with all my heart miss them all:(
anyway maybe my next blog wont be so sad:)...think i needed to get that off my chest.
kisses xoxox
Carla
And now this blog will be my journey back to the city i love.
London changed my life in many ways, moving there made me happy, big cities have always been what i love....but not only that... leaving for London was like such an accomplishment. Moving to a different continent was a huge leap for me which i had wanted to do for years.... I can remember it like it was yesterday saying good bye to my mum at the airport (my dad couldnt make it). I remember feeling really nervous but not at all scared. It was almost as if I didn’t believe that I was doing it.
I still feel to this day that London made me grow as a person. I learned many things that seem so small, but to me it made me who I am. I learned to live with and become friends with people from all walks of life. I learned independence. But most of all I learned to be some one that I am proud to be.(among other things)
I also saw many things that made me love to be in this amazing city. I saw my first snow in London at the age of 20 and to me this was the most amazing thing. But I think the thing I loved the most about London was the history, the feeling i had walking down the streets.... I was there on the streets of London where it had all happened hundreds and thousands of years before. That to me was truly spectacular.
All i know now is that i am back in South Africa and dying to get back to London. Im hating being here and i feel very lonely at times, and i feel i have know one here. all my friends are still in London and that makes me sad. the times i had there were the best in my life. my friends became like my family. and i truely with all my heart miss them all:(
anyway maybe my next blog wont be so sad:)...think i needed to get that off my chest.
kisses xoxox
Carla
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
